Do you ever recall something that you wore many years ago, and feel a bit embarrassed by the memory now? This just happened to me. I remember being about 11-12 years old in 1978-79, in the 5th grade, and gauchos were very popular. They were wide legged pants that came to the knee, I guess kind of like coulottes, but gauchos were a much cooler name. Anyway, I had a few pairs, including some with jazzy matching vests, and one vest even had a faux pocketwatch chain hanging from the pocket. OK, so sometimes I wore striped tubesocks with my gauchos, but hey, the stripes matched the color of the gauchos, so big deal. I wore them with tubesocks several times without a second thought. I was probably also wearing those suede shoes that had the wavy rubber sole bottoms, remember those?
Then I remember walking down the hall one day - stylin' fun'n'funky - in gauchos and tubesocks, and some girls were looking at me and laughing. When I got into class I felt so embarrassed and suddenly self-conscious because they had laughed at me. So I folded the tops of my tubesocks in to hide the stripes around the tops. I never wore gauchos and tubesocks again. And here I am, nearly 30 years later, remembering them laughing at me and the embarrassment that I felt. Up until the laughs, I felt cool in my outfit, even though I know now that it was a fashion faux pas, but I was only in the 5th grade. Why did I care what those girls thought? I didn't know them, they didn't know me, they weren't in my grade. Why should they care what I was wearing, why did I care what they thought of me?
When we are kids, we're not self-conscious and we seem to be oblivious to what others think of us. At some time in your life that changes though, and it's hard to get back to a point where you don't care how other people think you look. I'd like to think that I don't care, and I don't think that I care what they think of the way that I look, I just don't like the idea that they are actually thinking about the way that I look. Does that make sense? I feel uncomfortable sometimes when I feel that someone is taking a second look at me for whatever reason. I don't care what they think, I just want them to stop thinking, because why should they think and possibly form an opinion about the way that I look? I guess I'm still looking for those girls laughing at my tubesocks. But then again, maybe no one is looking at me, I'm very paranoid too, but that's another topic.
So onto a happier story, this Saturday I went to a local little-old-lady-charity-group yardsale. I haven't bought anything at a yardsale in a long time. You usually only see recent stuff at them and it's mostly kids toys and clothing. But there were a few little goodies to be had at this sale. The ladies all said 'Hi Honey!' very friendly and enthusiastically as I walked in, so I just had to buy something! Here is my bounty - I got a vintage tablecloth, an apron, an unused printed linen dishtowl, a couple bag of sewing notions, a small bag of buttons, two funky framed dimensional girls and a new Bates-style blanket. The blanket was my favorite, even though it's newer and not vintage, it was only $2 and it was just what I've been wanting to buy for the beds in Strathmere. Plus I bought a tiny carrot cake from their baked goods table. I'll have to watch the papers for more of these little sales, because I really had fun.
***Hummingbird update - I've seen 3 so far, two boys and a girl. That's how we've started out the past two Summers, and then more came later, last year. They're already fighting, I have 4 feeders out now, and I think I'll put a few more out tomorrow. I bought 4 new ones for my birthday (I know, such decandence and debauchery for my 40th birthday!) I have to get out there with my camera and catch a few snaps for the blog.