Then I remember walking down the hall one day - stylin' fun'n'funky - in gauchos and tubesocks, and some girls were looking at me and laughing. When I got into class I felt so embarrassed and suddenly self-conscious because they had laughed at me. So I folded the tops of my tubesocks in to hide the stripes around the tops. I never wore gauchos and tubesocks again. And here I am, nearly 30 years later, remembering them laughing at me and the embarrassment that I felt. Up until the laughs, I felt cool in my outfit, even though I know now that it was a fashion faux pas, but I was only in the 5th grade. Why did I care what those girls thought? I didn't know them, they didn't know me, they weren't in my grade. Why should they care what I was wearing, why did I care what they thought of me?
When we are kids, we're not self-conscious and we seem to be oblivious to what others think of us. At some time in your life that changes though, and it's hard to get back to a point where you don't care how other people think you look. I'd like to think that I don't care, and I don't think that I care what they think of the way that I look, I just don't like the idea that they are actually thinking about the way that I look. Does that make sense? I feel uncomfortable sometimes when I feel that someone is taking a second look at me for whatever reason. I don't care what they think, I just want them to stop thinking, because why should they think and possibly form an opinion about the way that I look? I guess I'm still looking for those girls laughing at my tubesocks. But then again, maybe no one is looking at me, I'm very paranoid too, but that's another topic.
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***Hummingbird update - I've seen 3 so far, two boys and a girl. That's how we've started out the past two Summers, and then more came later, last year. They're already fighting, I have 4 feeders out now, and I think I'll put a few more out tomorrow. I bought 4 new ones for my birthday (I know, such decandence and debauchery for my 40th birthday!) I have to get out there with my camera and catch a few snaps for the blog.
3 comments:
oh my goodness I DO remember those, weren't they hip in the late 70's early 80's?
Hi Carol.
Children can be so cruel can't they? I actually like to look different, hence the vintage clothing obsession I suppose but I do remember a couple of times as a child when other children commented on something and it really did stick in my head. After that I uses to get really disappointed in myelf for allowing them to have that much of an impression on me and to take up space in my head. I'm much better at dealing with it in adulthood I've found. If people comment then it's usually those who have no style or individualality anyway! So there!
What fabulous goodies you found at the garage sale. They're really big I've heard. The thing is to buy the local paper on a Friday and they're all listed there ready for the Saturday morning. Great fun!
Hey, thanks for the lovely comment left on my blog. Always good to hear from you.
It's funny that something trivial in a childhood can be remembered and carried into adulthood, leaving a lasting affect on us. I guess that's what makes us who we are, unfortunate sometimes.
We can't conrtol what people think, and unfortunately people like to judge each other. Until people start raising their children not to judge or criticize each other, it's just something we'll have to deal with in adulthood.
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